Today in Iraq

Rant of the Day, Sunday, February 6, 2005 Navy Wife posted this bit from Jonah Goldberg in yesterday’s Comments:

"As for why my sorry a** isn't in the kill zone, lots of people think this is a searingly pertinent question. No answer I could give -- I'm 35 years old, my family couldn't afford the lost income, I have a baby daughter, my a** is, er, sorry, are a few -- ever seem to suffice."

I tracked down the quote, via Rising Hegemon, to Little Jonah’s cozy home of outhouse graffiti at National Review Online. Jonah Goldberg is a True Piece of American Shit. Jonah is the crotch fruit of Lucianne “The Bag Lady of Sleaze” Goldberg. Juicy Luci, a stalwart conservative and defender of American family values who reportedly provided on-demand oral sex services to Republican political operatives during her salad days, is the gossip-monger who urged Linda Tripp to betray her friendship with Monica Lewinsky in pursuit of the greater glory of enriching herself by providing scandal to the media. Today, Luci is the proprietress of Lucianne.com, the on-line home of the racist, homophobic, Nazi base of the Republican Party. (Warning: If you choose to visit Luci’s site, ensure your immunization records are current, and vigorously bathe yourself with hot water and strong soap after leaving to avoid disease and infections.) Back when I wrote satire under the nom de net, Snotglass, Jonah was both my muse and my target. Jonah is an expert on nothing but consistently spews right-wing spin on everything. As Snotglass, I modeled my writing accordingly, citing Little Jonah as an “independent expert” on every subject from environmental science to combat journalism. In addition to his NRO and TownHall.com scribblings, fat-assed Little Jonah regularly appears on CNN, shooting off his cake-hole in support of Lieutenant AWOL, Bush’s War, torture policies, and the Republican Party, activities for which he is presumably rewarded handsomely by his conservative sponsors, despite the fact that he is a fool. Professor Cole recently cleaned Little Jonah’s clock over the miserable wretch’s cheerleading on Bush’s War, but Jonah, like most conservatives, remains proudly ignorant. Now comes the quote above from Little Jonah. The cowardly little worm loves war, as long as somebody else does the fighting. He truly believes his precious ass is too valuable to risk. He’s got a baby daughter, his family might starve on Army pay and he’s an elderly 35 years old. Boo-fucking-hoo. Break out the Kleenex for another conservative chickenhawk’s sob story. Over 200,000 brave Regulars, Marines, Guardsmen and reservists are serving in Bush’s War, and hundreds of thousands more Americans will enjoy that experience in the next four years. Most have wives and children, and many Guardsmen and reservists will see a substantial loss of income. Military retirees are being recalled to the colors. Many serving soldiers are over 35 years old, (all of the retirees are over 35) and some will suffer wounds and some will make the ultimate sacrifice. Jonah is simply a sissy mamma’s boy, like his hero, endowed with a battleship mouth and a rowboat ass. He jacks off to war porn but he’s too pussy to actually serve his country. Jonah, I can't respond on your NRO page. You're a puke and your mother's a whore. Call me out, you pussy. Take notice, conservative veterans. Jonah is the spokesman of today’s Republican Party. If you ever served, the rich-assed, politically-connected butt-nuggets like Jonah will exploit your service for their political advantage. They will avoid active service and hide behind your uniforms during hostilities while preaching patriotism. When the shooting stops, Jonah and his GOP buddies will take a great big shit on you and call you pussies. YD, CW4, USA (Ret.)